A teacher’s question: what can I use to teach my special education students about tolerance, respect, self-control and positive attitudes?

December 23rd, 2009

I was fortunate to catch up with an old friend who teaches high school special education in a major metropolitan public school district.  The stories she shared were sad, shocking and often times incomprehensible.  My education experience as a student was nothing compared to some of the “typical” days she has as a teacher.

These days include:  breaking up fights, talking with female students about protection, birth control and physical abuse, trying to reach students with learning disabilities due to drugs or accidents and counseling students on the importance of staying in school.  She relates heartbreaking accounts of students BEGGING her to adopt them so they don’t have to go back to their current home. 

She loved the idea of The Sad Mad Glad Book series.  Right now, teachers are trying to figure it out themselves.  For her, in special education, they need books that are simple, clear and engaging, tuned into education and their needs.  Teachers can utilize our books to reach kids, develop curriculum and generate meaningful discussion.  When I asked her to identify the most important character education topics, she listed (as above):  tolerance, respect, self-control and attitude.  These form the building blocks necessary to teach stronger character traits, developing better students and stronger young adults. 

My friend loves her job.  It does take an emotional and physical toll on her.  As a former social worker, she wants to do what she can to make her corner of the world a little better.  If she reaches one child, she’s successful. 

Now imagine the hundreds, perhaps thousands of special education teachers in the same situation as my friend.  Can you comprehend the need we’ve identified?

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Attitude is key to a child’s success

December 22nd, 2009

If you ask a teacher what’s an important key to success in school, a popular answer is attitude.  The way a child approaches school, being eager to learn, tackling homework to the very best of their ability and treating fellow students and adults respectfully is their future roadmap to success.

Creating a positive environment in your home is where a positive attitude can begin.  As we discuss in The Sad Mad Glad Book series, doing and trying your very best is something children should do every day.  There is something deep within them that can be tapped, the additional effort and motivation within themselves to prove TO THEMSELVES that they are capable of so much more than they’ve ever realized.  At home, teaching and reinforcing a mindset of doing their best every single day is what a parent can ask of their child.  When children know the support at home comes from exhibiting their best effort, you’ll be amazed at what your child can and want to do. 

Focus on their effort.  Their effort improves with a strong attitude, a can-do spirit of being unafraid to reaching new heights.  When they know you’re proud of them for doing their best, you’ll see attitude and self-esteem also reach heights you’ve not seen before.  Be proud of them and unafraid to show them your love and support.  While attitude alone doesn’t guarantee success, it’s a solid building block toward building that road to more victories, achievements and triumphs.

 

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Respect and relationships for teenagers

December 21st, 2009

From ChooseRespect.org, here are 12 statistics about healthy and unhealthy relationships for teens:

  1. 1 out of ever 11 teens reports being a victim of physical dating abuse every year.
  2. About one in four teens reports verbal, physical, emotional or sexual abuse each year.
  3. About one in five teens report being a victim of emotional abuse.
  4. About one in five high school girls has been physically or sexually abused by a dating partner.
  5. The overall occurrence of dating violence is higher among black (13.9%) than Hispanic (9.3%) or white (7.0%) students.
  6. About 72% of students in 8th and 9th grade report “dating.”  By the time they are in high school, 54% of students report dating violence among their peers.
  7. 1 in 3 teens report knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked, slapped, choked or otherwise physically hurt by his or her partner.
  8. 80% of teens regard verbal abuse as a serious issue for their age group.
  9. Nearly 80% of girls who have been physically abused in their dating relationships continue to date their abuser.
  10. Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a relationship said a boyfriend had threatened violence or self-harm if presented with a break-up.
  11. Almost 70% of young women who have been raped knew their rapist either as a boyfriend, friend or casual acquaintance.
  12. Teen dating abuse most often takes place in the home of one of their partners.

Reach out for your children NOW, regardless of their age!

For additional information and resources, visit http://www.chooserespect.org/scripts/teens/statistics.asp

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Respect: character traits to show our children

December 21st, 2009

While any character education trait can be shown by parents to their children, one that resonates loudly is the topic of respect.  For parents, it usually centers on children showing respect for adults including themselves as mother and father, their grandparents, teachers, law enforcement and others.  There is respect for our country and the flag, with the list going on and on.

Children, particularly teenagers, would talk about respect for their “space” and for their “stuff.”  This is often a fine line for parents to walk since we ourselves were teenagers once and some of us were doing things and had interests that our parents would not have been happy knowing we had.  So, you draw on your own experiences and make the best decisions you can.

Often, when my son was growing up, I spoke about respect and the treatment of other people.  I grew up happy until seventh grade.  My body metabolism changed, as well as my eating habits, and I grew larger.  Now overweight, literally over a summer, and I became the focus of ridicule – ridicule that came from fellow students that I thought were friends.  This was in a parochial school where every day we studied the word of God and religion.  I felt betrayed.

A few decades later, I still remember those times.  I instilled in my son the point of respect for another person no matter what they looked like.  Tall, short, big, thin, black, white, boy or girl.  We often had talks about the importance of showing the respect to other people, adults and children, because that is exactly how we would want them to treat us.

There are several sub-topics within respect:  civility, consideration, courtesy, dignity, embarrass, hurt and personal differences.  Each one is an excellent sit-down talk with your children.  They may not understand the word but when you give examples or simply ask them about their feelings (and their opinions), they will quickly relate.  Try it and you’ll see.

 

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Bullying Education Resources

December 16th, 2009

There are numerous online resources that provide information, advice and guidance for parents and children on the topic of bullying.  Below are a few posted to help start your education process:

U.S. Department of Health & Human Services:  http://stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/adults/default.aspx

Kids Health Organization:  http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/problems/bullies.html

Bullying.org:  http://www.bullying.org/

Education.com:  http://www.education.com/topic/school-bullying-teasing/

PACER Center for Bullying Prevention:  http://www.pacerkidsagainstbullying.org/

 

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Bullying and Fighting across both genders

December 16th, 2009

A recent conversation I had with my 19 year old revealed that during his elementary and high school years, he witnessed plenty of fights.  While he claims that he only had “one encounter” with someone who was threatening him and apparently my son was able to defend himself successfully (all of which I did not know about until this conversation), he watched fights – fights not only between boys but also girls.

This stunned me briefly, and then further into the conversation he showed me.  He logged onto YouTube and there, unbelievably, are videos of fight after fight after fight.  Elementary children, middle school kids and high school youth.  It was disturbing, not only because these fights occurred at almost any age, but that they are posted online to view!  He scrolled down the page to show me the comments left by viewers.  This was MORE disturbing with many comments too vile or disgusting to post here. 

For all parents, the time was here long ago to educate ourselves about this violence.  Our children’s futures, well-being and attitudes are at stake!  Bullying and fighting are about trying to exert influence, control and superiority from one to another.  Make the other person, boy or girl, feel less about themselves, feel weaker, less intelligent and unimportant.  Parents must “fight” back with consistent open communication with their children, always letting them know how much they are loved.  Every child should know that they have value and no matter their appearance, stature, race or gender, they are no better or worse than any other human being, child or adult.

Communication is the key!  It won’t always be easy.  For me, when I often spoke about my own experiences, particularly when I was in junior high and would get ridiculed or picked on for being chubby and overweight, wearing my thick black glasses, I showed my son that I was not immune to cruelties from others.  Drawing on your own experiences often will draw out your child and begin a meaningful dialogue.  Don’t be afraid to try it.  You have nothing to lose and everything to gain:  your child’s feelings, thoughts, dreams and hopes. 

Find and use the resources, tools and professionals to help you with your child’s development.  The time and effort is worth it.

Finally, here’s a new story to illustrate my point.  Shocking, truly shocking.  Please note than if you access the link below, YouTube will provide many other similar videos clips.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeVQjJtwjr0&feature=related

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Bullying: It’s Just Not a School Problem Anymore

December 15th, 2009

At one point or another in our lives, either as children or perhaps when we were adults, we had problems with, came in contact with or knew of someone who was a bully.  Bullying can occur just about anywhere.  It happens in your home (one child to another), workplace (boss to subordinate) and most commonly though, at school.

Now, bullying is viral.  Cyber bullying does not require muscles or brawn.  It can be done anywhere with computer and Internet access.  Instant bullying gratification through technology!  Email, instant messaging and social networks have all contributed, unintentionally, to the spread of cyber bullies.

Doing a search of bullying produces numerous articles about bullying, talking about such things as long-term effects, how to stop it, prevention, roles and healing.  Every parent should concentrate on PREVENTION.  This is the same concept as health and wellness preached by medical professionals.  They urge us to lead healthy lifestyles, to exercise and take care of ourselves physically and mentally so that their care is preventative, helping patients stay healthy instead of treating ailments, diseases and conditions.

The Sad Mad Glad Book series is an excellent tool on bullying prevention.  By concentrating on developing strong character traits in children at an early age, they learn life lessons that can carry them through as they develop and mature.  These lessons need to be continually reinforced and many families report the books being read over and over again, to the point where the covers start to fall off!

The subject of bullying needs to be discussed with your children.  Do you know if they have been a victim – OR – been a bully themselves?  How often do we hear that a parent is the last to know!

Posted below are some concise “bullying checklists” for parents:

http://www.education.com/reference/article/signs-a-child-is-bullied/

http://www.education.com/reference/article/signs-a-child-bullies-others/

http://www.education.com/reference/article/signs-a-child-bullies-others/

 

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Examine your attitude and understand your faith, says Bill Ellis

December 14th, 2009

Syndicated columnist Bill Ellis recently published a column regarding The Sad Mad Glad Book series.  Below is what appeared on the website, Christians in Crisis:

SCOTT DEPOT, WV (ANS) — The Thanksgiving Day we just celebrated in the United States was first observed in this land 388 years ago when Governor William Bradford called the people together to listen to their pastor, sing hymns and psalms of gratitude and to pray and listen to the prayers of others. A nation born in a prayer meeting!

That undying faith in God has held the people of our land, immigrants and Native Americans, together in spite of famine, war, depressions, floods, fires, wind and sword. It has comforted and sustained us during poverty, epidemics, injury, death and the deepest sorrow.

Contemporary historians, those who have a grasp on the past and are alert to what is actually taking place at the present, remind us daily that we are living in very difficult times.

It is what, Cicero, wrote centuries ago about history: “The witness of the times . . . the messenger of antiquity.” James Froude called history, “A voice forever sounding across the centuries the laws of right and wrong.” I hope we, as a nation, understand that history is inclined to repeat itself not with a gentle breeze, but with a devastating whirlwind.

Many observers of current issues see a diminishing of individual freedoms. They are being taken from us day by day as government is tempted to operate outside the bounds of “The Constitution of the United States.” That historic and guiding document begins, “We the People of the United States” and not with “We the Government of the United States.” Government has within its ranks too many incompetent and unethical people being paid more than they deserve.

It may be time for a national anatomy test of the things that are most important to our fitness and ultimate survival. Are we presently able to withstand any attack either from within and without?

In the last two years, two talented authors wrote books, which they titled “The Sad Mad Glad Book” and “Another Sad Mad Glad Book” with the subtitle for both being, “The Anatomy of Your Attitude.” The pictures and script almost defy imagination. Every child and youth needs these two books, as do all adults.

The authors, two brilliant and creative men, have produced another award-winning book. Chuck Stump and Jim Strawn titled their newest gift to the world, “The Sad Mad Glad Christian . . . The Anatomy of Your Faith.”

Anatomy has to do with structure, skeleton, framework and composition. It determines the strength, appearance, shape and vitality of our faith. The pictures, as beautiful as they are, are supported with appropriate stories from the Bible. Internationally known theologian, Hank Hanegraff, says, “God has revealed Himself in 66 books of knowledge.”

You may order all three of these “SadMadGlad” books and especially the latest one by getting in touch with: Four Dolphins Press, LLC, P.O.Box 833, Scott Depot, WV 25560. Call: 304-757-8125. Visit their Website at www.SadMadGladBooks.com. Individuals, families, those in business and certainly churches will find them useful for classes, baptisms, gifts for newcomers and confirmation classes. These unusual books with beautiful pictures in full color on slick paper will help you to examine your attitude and understand your faith in the Judeo-Christian context. Check their web for information on the “Fundraiser” project for schools, churches and any non-profit organizations. Excellent Christmas gifts.

It is written, “Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall” (I Corinthians 10:12). As we examine our faith, we will be more equipped “to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you” (I Peter 3:15).

The right books and the Book will help give you strength, wisdom, hope and courage in difficult days.

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The direct URL to this story:  http://www.christiansincrisis.net/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=4234&Itemid=37

Here is another column written by Mr. Ellis regarding The Sad Mad Glad Book series:  http://assistnews.net/Stories/2008/s08080002.htm

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Kids should feel comfortable about sharing their feelings!

December 14th, 2009

Just like adults, children can have a difficult time sharing their feelings and letting their parents know what might be bothering them or if they have a concern or are troubled.  Kids should learn that when they can share with their parents, they can become even closer to them, not only when feelings are not so good, but when they are very, very good, too! 

When words aren’t easy to come by for them, it’s not a bad idea for them to make a list of feelings and emotions.  If they aren’t old enough yet to write, having them try to draw pictures can draw out their inner feelings.  Of course, parents can share their own feelings, letting their child know that just like them, big people can be happy, sad, angry or worried about any number of things. 

The important thing is that children can be taught that when they share feelings and emotions, they almost always start to feel better.  Knowing how they feel inside is very important, when kids know they are not alone with worries or emotions, they know they are not alone!  If it isn’t a parent that the child wants to talk to, parents need to find another trusted adult:  a grandparent, a teacher or another relative. 

Children have problems just like everyone else.  Having them talk about their feelings is the first step to helping them and perhaps even solving the problem.  It’s another important part of family communication!

Listen to one child, Darnell, had to say:

What did you like from The Sad Mad Glad Book?

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Today’s Children Need Discipline

December 11th, 2009

As a father of two children, an eleven-year old son and a nine-year old daughter, please allow me to express how much today’s children need discipline and boundaries.  As I meet parents who seem reluctant (and sometimes afraid) to discipline their own kids I often ask, “Who is raising who?”  Our Sad Mad Glad book series takes us into the schools where we help spread a message that reinforces the school’s existing Character Education programs, so we see literally thousands of kids and we speak with hundreds of teachers and counselors.  The central theme of the conversation often becomes how little discipline seems to be coming from home.  Many experts agree, children need boundaries. They need to be told “No,” they need to be punished in an appropriate and consistent manner when they disobey, and they need to be taught to respect others, both young and old.  It makes us happy to know that the Sad Mad Glad book series has become a tool to help parents and teachers teach these valuable life lessons in times like these.

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